Dating = Shopping

July 27, 2009

Sorry it’s been a while since my last blog post, folks. Things have been hopping around the office. However, it’s a brand new week and I’ve got a brand new topic to discuss…and this one is quite intriguing (and has nothing to do with reality television, I promise).

The other week, I was discussing dating with Xavier (we were getting lots of work done at the same time, of course). He was remarking that so many things seem a bit jumbled in regards to “relationships” nowadays. It seems that people partake in one of two extremes: either meaningless…ahem…”romps” with no strings attached, or jumping into a super serious marriage-y relationship right away (although the first one seems to be the most popular). The whole going-on-a-date to end-of-the-night-kiss to maybe-being-asked-out-on-another-date to spending-quality-time-getting-to-know-each-other trajectory doesn’t seem to hold true anymore (but perhaps we’re just a bit out of touch and this scenario is a tad too “Pleasantville” for contemporary society?)

I think the majority of college kids can vouch for the fact that this holds especially true at school. Although it might initially seem that most people have comfortably subscribed to this new form of “dating”, after getting in touch with my friends asking for their opinions on the topic, I have found that this isn’t so much the case. No matter what their viewpoints, everyone seems to have a lot to say about the topic.

I’ll try to run a different person’s take on the subject over these next few days. I’m starting off with an entertaining yet thought provoking spin on the prospect of dating, supplied by one of my very dear friends from school. Basically, dating = shopping. Intrigued? Of course you are! Read on…

“Since graduating college, I have had a lot of experience in the “dating” world, if that is what you would like to call it. I have gone on dates with guys that I met through a variety of different arenas – college, speed dating, even through my grandparents (oy vey I know I know). And while each man – granted, they are not all men yet – was unique, I seemed to encounter the same dilemma every time; he was either nice and sweet but not in the least exciting, or he was adventurous and captivating but merely trying to get me tanked and in the sack. This put me in a limbo – an internal struggle with myself –; who do I choose? Who is right for me?

Believe it or not, this is how I feel when I go shopping. Let me explain. I have two favorite stores: Barney’s and Target. I also love to shop. Sounds like a perfect situation. However, I have a limited bank account. So I usually need to decide what it is I really need and also what I really want. Although I can’t resist the perfect designer dress from Barney’s, at the same time I know I need my basic tee’s from Target. So do I spend my life taking risks and splurging on a few couture pieces here and there, or do I stay practical, save my money, and fill my closet with the basics? Similarly, do I take a gamble with the bad boy or do I tone it down with the nice guy albeit sacrificing chemistry and passion?

The answer…neither. I realized that although I have spent a lot of time shopping around for both clothes and guys, and that I don’t necessarily always find what I am looking for, sometimes I do discover a hidden gem. The perfect compromise – kind of like the Diane Von Furstenberg top I got for only $50 on sale (which I do get a lot of wear out of by the way). Not everyone has the best of luck finding what they want and need. Some of us ladies need to spend more time than others trying things on. But I believe in fate and I know there is a fairy tale ending for all of us. My DVF top and I found each other, so I know that I will be able to find that one guy who is perfect for me, even though I may need to make some small sacrifices along the way. To all the actively dating ladies out there, I know it’s a stressful and sometimes brutal scene, but I promise you WILL find your perfect fit.”

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